In the sickness of love, there was indeed one great torment: dying was easy for me, but abstinence was difficult.

Here, love is imagined as a chronic illness where the cure itself is far more terrifying than the disease. In any sickness, the doctor prescribes 'parhez'—strict restraint and abstinence—but for the lover, staying away from the beloved's glance or thought is utterly impossible. He confesses with tender irony that dying was effortless, but denying his heart its only addiction was a feat he simply could not achieve.